A Consumer’s Day From Hell!!!

Today I am going to do something that I haven’t done in a while. I am going to bitch about a couple things. Why am I going to do it here, in my blog? Because, bitching about it anywhere else won’t do a damn thing. And, yes, I know bitching about it here won’t do anything either. But, it’s my blog, and I can bitch here if I want to.

We all work hard for our money, right? And when we decide to purchase anything we expect to get what we are paying for, and to receive the best service from any establishment, right? Especially when we are going to be dropping a good chunk of cash on whatever we spend our money on, right?

I would have to say “YES!”  to all three of those questions. Well, yesterday was a “consumer’s day from hell” for me. It started when the wife and I went grocery shopping at Walmart® and ended when I took the family out to eat at Buffalo Wild Wings®.

Either the wife and at least one of our daughters, or the wife and I go grocery shopping every other week – on payday weekends. Because we are a family of five, we usually drop a good chunk of change on our food bill – typically around $600 per month, on average.

Since my entire family has been down here, we decided to purchase those reusable grocery bags…you know, so that we can be a little “green.” Well, I would have to say that was the worst choice that we have ever made. And yesterday I had had enough.

On numerous occasions, while going through the checkout, we provided our own bags for our groceries to go into. And, on numerous occasions, the cashier expected US to bag our own groceries. I mean, isn’t THAT part of what THEIR  job description is? Isn’t THAT part of what THEY get PAID for?

Nothing pisses me off more than when I am trying to get the bags set up and the cashier starts ringing everything up and starts setting MY groceries on the bag turntable, and then, when I am not bagging fast enough, to STOP ringing up what I am buying and just stand there WAITING for ME to get caught up.

Yesterday I had had enough!! I told the wife, while we were still in line, that we will NOT bring our own bags ANYMORE!! After all, WE  are the consumer, last I knew!! And that it is BULLSHIT that I not only have to pay for what I am purchasing, but also bag it too?

Needless to say, shortly thereafter, the wife told the cashier that we were out of bags (even though we still had like three more left) and that SHE would have to start bagging. This must have pissed her off a bit because she just started putting anything in bags. I mean, are you really that stupid that you think it’s acceptable to put dishsoap in with bread? COME ON!! Get a fricken clue, you idiot!

From now on, when we go shopping at “the Walmart,” the cashiers are going to do their jobs and bag our groceries into those little plastic bags that they provide. Even though they are always wasteful in doing that too.

Onto the dinner consumption…

I was so excited when I heard that there was a “B-dubs” opening here in Asheville. It is definitely the BEST place to go for wings! So, I decided to take the family there last night for dinner.

Now, mind you, I am not one to really complain about the service that I receive at restaurant establishment. I let my tips reflect the service. I mean, really, what better way to tell the server “you were great!,” or “you were a shitty server”?

When I take the family out to eat I expect to spend upwards of $100. After all, it is a family of five! When I feel that the service is exceptional, I usually tip the server about 20% or more. If I feel that the service was average, I usually tip about 10-15%. However, if I feel the service was bad, the server is lucky to get 5%.

Now, let me take you through the service we received last night:

Everything started out alright, the server took our drink orders; the wife and daughters all got sodas, and I ordered a beer. The server asked if I “wanted the tall one, it would only be about $0.30 more.” so I said “yes”. She then asked me if I “wanted a glass of water to go with it?” To this I declined because I didn’t need a glass of water. Well, when she brought our drinks, she brought me a glass of water, and the beer was a tall glass of draft beer (I was expecting one of those tall, 22oz bottles of beer). I though that is was no big deal, a little misunderstanding, and chalked it up as such.

Then, the server comes over and asks if we are ready to order. The wife said that she was not ready, but the server begins to take orders from our daughters. BIG MISTAKE!! The wife was instantly pissed, and I don’t blame her, because now she felt rushed to order. …Strike ONE! (tip just went from 20% down to 10-15%)

So, we place our order for wings and the wife decides to order some fries to go with them. She asks what the difference is between the two sizes, regular and basket, and the server tells her that the regular is about 1lb of fries and the basket is about 3lbs. Because there is five of us, we order the basket. I guess that the 3lbs is not actually 3lbs of fries, it’s 3lbs total (including the weight of the container). There might have been enough fries there for two people, but not enough there for five! …Strike TWO! (tip just dropped to a possible 5%)

Then comes the kicker…we are finishing up, getting ready to leave when our server and another server collide and a 24oz draft beer gets dumped on my 14-year-old daughter! I mean she was SOAKED! She was covered from her breasts to her knees, and it didn’t look like there was a dry spot on her. …Strike THREE…YER OUT! (there will be NO tip for this server tonight!)

Now, I know that accidents happen. But, having been a server before (many, many moons ago) I know that when a server is carrying a tray of something, and they are coming up behind someone else, proper protocol if for that server to announce “behind you” so that the other person knows that there is someone there. Our server did not do this, and the other server backed up, collided with our server, and the contents of the tray went falling (with the beer going all on my daughter).

And get this…the server still had the nerve to actually bring us our bill! She’s got bigger balls than me, and I got some big one’s (tmi, I know, sorry ;)).

Well, I went to the front and requested to speak with a manager. I introduced her to my 14-year-old, beer soaked, daughter, and proceeded to inform her of the horrible service we received. After I get done she asks me, “What would you like me to do for you?” To which I responded, “I want YOU to tell me what YOU can do for ME.”

I was waiting for the “magic” words to come out of her mouth, and they did. She proceeded to tell me, “I can’t do much, but I do have a little pull. I could buy your dinner.” That, my friends, was all I needed to hear. As soon as she said that I instantly gave her the bill and said, “that will be fine, thank you.”

Let me break this one down for you…our bill was about $67. If the service would have been good to exceptional, the total that I would have paid would have been $80. If the service would have stayed average (if all she would have done was pissed off the wife) the total I would have paid would have been $73. If the beer would not have been spilled on my daughter, I would have paid $70. However, because my daughter got her first beer bath (at the age of 14, mind you), I left paying a total of $0.

The moral of these stories…when I spend my hard-earned money (according to some people, my hardly-earned money…lol), I expect to get great service. Period! Especially when I am going to be spending close to, or more than, $100.

Oh yeah…and…don’t piss me off when I am trying to spend my money in your establishment!

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F-Word Friday

F-Word Friday

F-Word Friday is a theme that I am stealing/borrowing from fellow blogger and friend Ms.Darkstar. It is a day to take a random word, that begins with F (of course), and express your thoughts accordingly.

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This week’s F-Word is Flatulence.

 Yep, that’s right, my friends, I am going there. This weeks word is the ever popular, ever refreshing, ever repulsing word flatulence.

I was gonna originally use the word fart, but I liked the definition dictionary.com gave for today’s word better: adjective 1) generating gas in the alimentary canal, as food. 2) attended with, caused by, or suffering from such an accumulation of gas. 3) having unsupported pretensions; inflated and empty; pompous; turgid: a flatulent style.

Who knew that flatulence was generated in the nutritional canal? I know that I didn’t! I knew that it was a byproduct of waste created from eating foods. But, hey, I guess you learn something new everyday, right?!

Today’s work came to me because I have been extremely gassy lately. I mean, it has been so bad that I can’t even stand to be around myself sometimes (raw sewage has nothing on me!…lol). For the past few months, I thought that all the processed food I had been eating was causing it. But, now that the wifey has been cooking some good, home-cooked meals lately(which, as I have already told her, are not too bad for a Northern-White-Mexican…lol love ya babe ;)), and the anal explosions have not gotten any better, it kinda makes me wonder.

Yes, I am a little concerned about the amount of gas I have been having lately. Plus, I have been very uncomfortable on my left side for the past couple months, also. Could there be something medically wrong with me? That is a possibility. Am I in any hurry to get it checked out? Honestly, no. I hate having to hunt for a Doctor, especially when I am new to the area. Not only that, I don’t want to risk having to take time off work should there be something majorly wrong.

I guess, for now, I will just continue to deal with it all. So, just as a forewarning to those of you that read this and do actually come around me from time to time; that horrific, rancid, raw-sewage smell, is probably me!

Nope, I’m not ashamed. At times I wear it proudly, like a cologne…lol.

Until next time, my friends….

TMI Thursday: The Chocolate Honey Bun

It’s TMI Thursday
***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell,bout someone else’s! (via LiLu)

TMI Thursday

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Last October I was heading to Cincinnati to see my wife and children for the first time in a month. Prior to the trip I bought a new Garmon GPS system so that I wouldn’t get lost. After all, I was still new to the area and I didn’t want to have to continuously look at a map while driving…yeah, I’m lazy like that! 🙂

I set the GPS to get me to Cincinnati in the quickest way possible. Of course, the GPS system decided that it has jokes, and instead of taking me straight to US-75, it was going to take me the back way (up I-81, I believe). No problem, I thought…but then I started to run into construction, and traffic back ups, and heavy rain! This was not the fastest way!

Any-who…I decided to stop off and get some lunch. Not quite sure where I was, but I’m sure that I seen a movie about the place. You know, where the car breaks down and by the end of the movie the travelers are dead! Yeah, that kind of a town!

So, I’m all fed, and I continue on with my trip. Finally I make it to US-75. After being stuck in the traffic jams, eating, drinking my thermos of coffee and the soda I had with my lunch, I am in need of using the bathroom. I find this nice gas station, somewhere in Kentucky shortly after I got off one of the back-road “highways” (I think it was E-25, or something like that).

After I relieve myself – and feel lighter, regain the white in my eyes from the slight yellow that took over (from having to pee people! my eyes really did not turn yellow, gosh!), all the benefits of an empty bladder that was once overflowing (or so it seemed)! – I decided that I would buy a soda for the remainder of the ride.

On my way to the counter, walking through the snack isle, that is when I seen them! One of my “downfalls” when it comes to junk food. I seen the Honey Buns, and they had the Chocolate Honey Buns too (BONUS!). So, I snag one up as I am walking by.

I pay for my items and head out to the car to continue on with my trip. Even though I had just recently ate, my mouth is watering thinking about how good this Chocolate Honey Bun is going to taste! I get everything situated, grab up the Honey Bun, open the wrapper, start raising it up to my mouth, and that’s when I seen it… MOLD!

The damn thing was so old, the entire back of it was covered in mold, or so it seemed. I’m telling you, I came this close to losing my lunch that I had just eaten. I was so glad that I opened it prior to leaving the parking lot of the gas station! And, that I happened to see it before taking that first bite!

Still, to this day, I have to hold back from letting loose when I think about it. I do still buy Honey Buns – they are still one of the best junk food items, in my opinion – but, now I always look at the package before buying, or opening it, just to make sure.

I’m Ready…

…Continued from yesterday’s post. The final posting of the three-part series.

That’s right folks, I am ready!

I gave you all a quick reflection, and I told you all my fears. But, now, I am here to tell you all that I am ready to continue on this journey we call life with my family by my side.

I’m ready… to quit eating processed food. I mean, do you know what that shit does to your body? OMG!!…lately it has been giving me some of the worst gas you could imagine. I can’t even stand to be around myself sometimes. Sorry, babe, but the effects will probably continue to linger (pun intended) for days!

I’m ready… for a good HOME COOKED meal! It has been MONTHS since I had one, and I cannot wait!

I’m ready… to prove to myself that I will not fail! That this move is the first step to a wonderful new life with my wife and children. WE are ALL that we have now. Together we will make it, I have no doubt.

I’m ready… to put the past behind me; all my failures and mishaps. To only look forward to the good things life will bring us.

I’m ready… to have my family with me again! Nine months is a long time to be without them. As I have said before, I do not EVER plan on being without them again!

I’m just…READY!

I know that life is not going to be any easier. Life never is. But, with a loving family around, it does help to make it that much more manageable.

Friday is the day that I fly back to Michigan to be with my family. That weekend I am planning to spend time with family and friends, one LAST time. Then it will be a couple days of non-stop packing and getting ready for the LONG drive down. But, you know what?…That’s right!…I’M READY!

I am going to face my fears, now that I have them all written out, and take them head-on, one-by-one, until they are no longer able to bother me anymore. I am going to love my wife and children like they have never been loved by me before. This is a new life, a new beginning, a place to start over, for me and my family. I plan to leave the past behind me on Wednesday morning when we cross the Michigan state line. Who know’s, I may just decide to NEVER look back. It’s not a bad thing, to me, it’s a good thing! And, I’m ready!

To all my nay-sayers, the one’s that have doubted me in the past, and still doubt me today. To the one’s that said that my wife and I would not last, and believe that we will not make it after we make this move. You don’t have to tell me your doubts with words, I know what you are thinking. That is why I dedicated this paragraph just to you (granted, most of you that doubt me and my wife are not bright enough to actually read, but that’s beside the point). Anyways, to you, here is me virtually flipping you off. Put that in your pipe and choke on it. Why?….because I’m ready!

OK, I agree, that last paragraph really might not have been right, but it still needed to be said by me. It is words that I have been wanting to say for years, but, because it is in writing, I did tone it down. 🙂

It is time to turn the page. To finish my transformation into the new me! And now, I AM READY!!!

Only two more days, babe! 😀 I’m ready, are you?

Until next time, my friends…