Well now, I guess it has been quite a while since I have taken the time to blog anything. About 18 months is long enough, I guess, so here goes.

I could about imagine, if anyone is actually going to read this, what might be going through your head as far as the title to this posting is about. Well, to me, it is about depression and determination. It is my current weight, as of the time I stepped on the scale last night before I got into the shower.

I have known for a while now, about the past 12- 14 years at least, that I have been a bit on the heavy side. But, as we all know, we see ourselves differently than those around us. And, we tend to use our own vision as our reality, that is until someone else actually slaps us with reality.

This happened to me the other day when I was completing evaluations of my fellow officials. Once I completed the evaluations I looked to see what responses I had. There were six (6) other officials that took the time to evaluate me. One category, in-particular, caught my eye and the comment cut me like a knife. The category?…”Physically fit to perform duties.” The comment?…”overweight.”

When we do our evaluations we do not have to comment, all we have to do is enter a score between 1 and 5. And, for this category, I have and average score of 4.5 (not the lowest average of all the categories). Which means, and I am going to assume here, that the person that made that comment probably gave me a 2.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not mad at this person, whoever he may be. What I am mad about is the fact that he took his own perception of me, and his opinion, and went away from what the category was about. Yes, I am overweight. But, that does not mean that I am not physically fit to perform my duties! My slowness has very little to do with how much I weigh, it has more to do with the fact that I am more worried about rolling my ankle again than anything. On a level surface, where I know that I will not roll my ankle, I can sprint with the best of them! Okay, maybe not the best of them, but it sure would surprise the hell out of you how quick I can actually be.

This, if you have not already figured it out, is where the depression comes in. I have not told anyone about this until now. But, I have decided that I will not let this send me into a total depression. Instead I am going to use it to give me the determination to change it!

I have decided that it is time for me to take another long hard look at my eating habits, and make the necessary changes that will help me to lose weight. Between that, and dedicating time to running and working out at the gym again, I know that I can shed a few pounds by the end of the year.

You see, and anyone that knows me knows this, about the time I last posted anything on here I had my running spirits broke by some asshole that decided to take some bitches words as gold and decided to kick me off his “team”. Although it did not make me decide to quit running altogether, it did make it so that I was not as dedicated to running. But now, I have this new asshat that is going to help me to relight that fire I once had, and will get me determined to earn the results I want.

My goal is to drop at least 20 pounds by the end of the year…but I would like to hit 30 pounds.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Sorry this is so late, but I have been quite bust today. Don’t believe me? Well, this will give you an idea as to how busy I was today, and how my day went.

Anyways…Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all my fellow Irishfolk, and the rest of you that wish you could be like us. HAHA! :p

Now, I have a confession to make about this ultimate party day…I have NEVER…I repeat NEVER, gotten drunk to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day! 😦


You see, either the day has fallen on a weekday, when I either had to work during the night of, or the morning after (either way, I wasn’t gonna be drinking). Or, when it did actually fall on a weekend, I was broke and didn’t have the money to go out to the bar.

I know, I know…boo-hoo! Well, yes, I will cry in my beer…now, if only I had one! 😉

Hope any and all of you that actually DID get to celebrate this wonderful day had fun and made it to where you had to go safely.